Passion
by atheart101
Summary: "I don't want this, Castle, I never wanted this!" - Kate Beckett feels the pressure of being in a relationship with Castle choking her. Can he rescue her in time or will he lose her forever?


**A/N: Hey guys, I know this isn't Torrent, but what can you do? Writer's block sucks. But it lead to this! So yay! Enjoy lovely readers, and let me know what you think! xoxo Aubrey**

**Disclaimer: I don't own em : )**

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><p><strong><em><span>Passion<span>_**

"I don't want this, Castle, I never wanted this!" She shouted, gesturing wildly with her hands.

"Well what part, Kate, because I sure as hell remember you wanting this at some point!" He wasn't backing down this time. They'd had this fight one too many times, and either he was fully winning her over tonight or she would walk out the door.

"You, Castle, I wanted you! But I never wanted the rest of it!"

"What? The cameras? The paparazzi? The rumors? Because, unfortunately, that's part of the package. You knew that when you signed on for this. But it comes with _me_, Kate. That was worth something to you at one point." Castle wanted so desperately to pull her to him, but he knew it would only make Kate feel even more trapped.

"It's not enough," she said simply, challenging him with her eyes.

"What's not enough? Me? I'm not worth everything else we have to deal with?"

"No, it's just-"

"It's just that you won't let me in enough to help you with this," he interrupted. "Let me help you with this, Kate."

"Rick," she tried to begin, her eyes taking on a pleading look. _I need you to understand_, she seemed to say. The only problem was, he did. But she wouldn't let him tell her. Because that meant she would have to make that final jump with him. No more one foot out the door.

"I can do this. But you have to let me."

"I-"

"I can do this. I know how to do this. I can help you. You just have to let me. Let me in, Kate. Let me in." _Please understand_, he thought, hoping his eyes would tell her, _It's a hard life, but we can do it._

"It's not enough," she repeated. And he saw the rest of what she wanted to say. _Can I trust you with this? With me? Can I love you? With all of me?_

So Castle decided to let loose. _Yes, you can._ But how to tell her?

"But it can be. I know it's a lot. I know it's a big adjustment. I know you full out hate this. But things will die down." He saw her eyebrow rise. "And yes, they'll pick back up again, but Kate, even with the pictures and the questions and the invasion of the privacy you cherish, we can still have it. We can have the passion and the romance and no one has to know every detail. Some things, like when you go get groceries or what movie you decide to buy one night, those things aren't going to be private anymore. And I'm sorry about that. But you and me, Kate? That will always remain between you and me."

"You promise?" Her eyes were full of hope and doubt.

"Always." He said, his signature promise.

"How do you know?"

"Because this is my world. This is part of the real world, though to you it's some kind of fantasy you'd only have to deal with if you were rich and famous. You solve murders. You bring people to justice and give answers to damaged families, a world I only dreamed of and wrote about. Then I met you and you made your reality my reality. Suddenly life was more than just book signings and flashing cameras. Suddenly you were my reality. And Kate, I know that my reality isn't something you ever dreamed of having. It isn't what you want. I know that when I say I come with a package deal, it means more than my daughter and my mother," he told her, earning a smile.

"But look into my eyes when I say this because I need you to hear me." Castle waited until her eyes were unwavering from his. "The world out there is not who I am. The man I am, the man you've made me to be, is right here with you. Always. And that won't change. The man I am is the man who refused to have a nanny take care of my daughter because I didn't want to miss out on one moment with Alexis. The man out there," Castle pointed out his window to make his point, "Who loves the camera, that's all a show now. There was a time when I loved it, craved it even, but it became hollow and predictable. So I killed off Derek Storm. And then you showed up. And you shook my world down to its very foundation. I can't tell you the ways you've changed me, but I hope you can see them. I hope you can see me."

"Rick," Kate tried to begin again, her voice shaking slightly. But he shook his head to cut her off.

"I know I'm rambling. But the point I'm trying to make is that you know me. They don't. No one but you, Alexis, and Mother, and maybe even the boys back at the precinct get to see the real me. That part I've kept private all these years. You can, too. We both can. If you'll let me teach you. Just please, don't leave me."

She was quiet for a moment as she stared into his crystal blue eyes. Eyes that were begging her to see the truth. That they could make it. That they could make it _work_. And not just with the publicity, but with their relationship. That he wouldn't leave her. That they didn't have to change. It was still them. Just him and her. Always.

Kate shook her head and let a small smile creep across her face. She laced her hands behind his neck and pulled him in. "Richard Castle, how is it you always have a way with words?"

His smile grew as he heard what she was saying behind her words. _I love you and I'll stay. _

"An occupational hazard, I'm afraid."_ I love you and we'll figure it out._

"Oh you think you actually have a job?" _Thank you. I trust you._

"Well they do give me money for it, so I'm going to go with yes. And it totally beats your job." _Always._

"If we're talking monetary betterment than, yes, your job may be better. But mine is more fulfilling. Less frustrating." _Always._

"Only when writer's block is an issue is your job less frustrating. But it's only been since I started following you that I've had many more sleepless nights due to my job. You still get rather cranky when we don't have a suspect."

"Might I remind you that it's still not _your_ job? I'm the only cop in this relationship. And no," she quickly interjected as he opened his mouth, "I do not count the chocolate badge Alexis gave you for your birthday." She laughed at Rick's sudden pout. "You've eaten it all anyway. Only the box is left."

"I'd make a pretty good cop, though, wouldn't I?"

"Rick, you'd get shot within your first week, and that's _only_ if you made it through the Academy."

"You do have to admit something, though."

"Oh? And what's that?"  
>"We make a pretty good team."<p>

"Mhm, you keep telling yourself that, Hooch." Kate turned and started walking towards their bedroom.

"You know, Kate? Sometimes you wound me." Castle followed her to their room.

"I've gotta keep you on your toes, somehow," she replied nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders.

Kate got quiet as they started folding down the bed. "Rick?"

Castle looked up at her and waited, knowing that their time of play had ended and they were returning to their previous conversation.

"Thank you. For being there." Her eyes were serious, searching.

"Always." He smiled a half smile that she secretly adored.

"But it's more than that," she said, her hands stilling on the bedspread. She stared at him for a while, trying to find the right words, so Castle moved to where she stood and placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to impart some strength. "You keep me grounded," she finally said softly turning to him and staring into his eyes. "You've taught me how to fly, but you also keep me grounded. You always have, with my mother and now just by being here with me day to day. I don't know what I would do without you."

Castle hooked a finger under her chin and looked deep into her eyes. "You're the one that brought me back to Earth, Kate. You're the one that saved me. Without you I would be just another celebrity celebrating life so much that he forgot to live it." He let the moment linger before bringing a little light to it. "So it's a good thing, really."

"What is?" She asked, catching on to his tone.

"That you pulled me in for questioning that night."

"I don't know, Rick, it seemed that was the beginning of the end. I spent many a day regretting that decision." A wicked grin spread across her face.

"Well it was the beginning of the end, Detective. It was the first of many days of us together." He returned one of his own.

"Remind me again why that's a good thing, Castle?" She asked, cocking her head and pulling him close. A shiver passed through him at the close proximity of their bodies.

"Because now we don't have to be without each other, Beckett," he murmured into her ear. Then he kissed it and worked his way down before he found her pulse point, letting their passion build. Kate gasped and tilted her head back to give him more access. He sucked on it gently until a shiver passed through her body and licked some of the pain away. Then he passed his lips down her jaw until his mouth rested just above hers.

"Because of this," he whispered and then claimed her mouth for his own. Kate immediately reciprocated and their tongues joined in their ever-waging battle of dominance and passion. He took her bottom lip between his teeth and she moaned in pleasure. Then his shirt was over his head and his hands were tugging at her shirt seams. When her shirt tumbled to the ground, he pulled her against him, loving the feel of her skin pressed against his. Her mouth left his to kiss down his neck and then up to his own pulse point before nipping his ear, her hands doing unmentionable things, sending shivers down his spine.

"Kate," he moaned, bringing her face back to his. Her lips moved against his once more, perfect and in sync, a dance full of passion and yearning. Kate pulled him onto the bed on top of her and their hands roamed each other's bodies. He unclasped her bra and threw it to the floor before taking in the sight of her now half naked body. But Kate didn't give him long before she pulled his face back down to hers. He blindly found the button to her jeans before leaning back and pulling the fabric off her legs. She slipped out of her panties as he threw the last of his garments to the floor.

The last thing he heard before they drifted off into a satisfied, blissful sleep was her murmur against his still-pounding chest. "You win," she whispered. Then, "I love you."

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><p><em>So, thoughts? It's my first one-shot and my second story. I love me some reviews, and you know you want to click it!<em>


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